Forget new year – October is the time to make new resolutions

The nights are drawing in and there’s a chill wind in the air. Time to kickstart your life, says Marianne Power

‘Getting out in nature is the quickest way to reduce stress and improve our mood’

The change of seasons is upon us, there’s a nip in the air and most of us, no matter our age, have that back-to-school feeling. “Life starts all over again when it gets crisp in the Fall,” F Scott Fitzgerald wrote in The Great Gatsby, and it’s true: autumn is a time of renewal. The French have a word for it – la rentrée – and the ancient Egyptians began their new year with the autumnal equinox.

So how to make the most of this time of crisp leaves and new beginnings? We speak to the experts…

Make some resolutions

Do you want to lose weight? Learn a language? We set resolutions in January when we are all broke and bloated and the weather is dark and depressing, but we should do it now when the sun is still in the sky and we are rested from our summer. Is there anything you would like to have achieved by Christmas? A short window of time can focus the mind. Now is the ideal time to turn over a new leaf.

Get back to a routine

Our day-to-day way of life has been disrupted by everything from Covid lockdowns to summer holidays, but routines are important. Now is the time to get them back, especially if you are navigating home or hybrid working, says psychologist and neuroscientist Sabrina Brennan.

“Routines are comforting and require less mental effort from us as they allow us to do tasks on autopilot, which is less tiring for us,” she says.

Practise sleep hygiene

The key to effective days is a good night’s sleep, and that means leaving screens out of the bedroom (the blue light they emit keeps us awake) and getting daylight as soon as we wake up. If possible, take a stroll outside first thing in the morning.

Walk it off

Now is the ideal time to build brisk walks into your day: it’s still bright, but cool enough to be comfortable. “Start with sturdy but regular scheduled walks and speed up your pace over a few weeks,” advises personal trainer Mairead Bergin. “The repetition and rhythm of a brisk walk restores and calms the mind.”

Smell the flowers

And while on that walk take time to smell the roses. Literally. “Roses have medicinal molecules in the aroma, good for calming and comforting people,” says medical herbalist Pamela Spence.

Other plants work, too. “I encourage people to put a rosemary bush on the backdoor or window sill. Every time you walk past it, rub your hands on the plant and get the oil on your hands. The scent goes straight to the brain and has an antidepressant effect. Getting out in nature is the quickest, easiest, cheapest and most profound way to reduce stress and improve our mood.”

Cold showers

Some good news as heating bills go through the roof: cold showers are good for you. They reduce stress, increase alertness, improve the circulation and boost the immune system. Start off slowly, turning the water to cold for 30 seconds at the end of the shower and build up to longer stretches.

Don’t quit the day job… yet

You’ve come back from a wonderful summer to a mountain of emails and your heart sinks. You want to jack it all in and open a guesthouse in Italy. Don’t. At least not straight away, says career adviser Carolyn Parry. “Don’t leap into a complete change of life and work immediately. The last couple of years have been stressful for us all: a big life change can bring on even more stress.”

Change your job while staying in it

“Identify what it is you really want from your job,” says Parry. “It may be that a small change can make a big difference. Can you re-craft your job by proposing new initiatives so you can take on new responsibilities? Can you work more flexibly? Drop down a day?

Ask for a pay rise?”

Tread water

Or what about just coasting for a while? It’s something that’s being dubbed “the Quiet Resignation”: when people do what’s needed of them at work but no more. “Covid has had a big emotional impact on all of us,” says Parry. “If you are feeling overwhelmed, it is OK to tread water for a while for a few months career-wise.”

Get a second income

If you are worried about money as winter approaches, try adding a second stream of income. “Become a representative for cosmetics or utility companies, offer business services on [freelancing websites] Upwork or Fiverr, sell goods on eBay or Amazon, or take up tutoring. If you have extra space, rent out your spare room and earn up to £7,500 taxfree under the Government’s Room for Rent scheme,” says Parry.

OK… now you can open that retreat

If after that you still want to open a retreat centre in Italy go for it – once you’ve done your research. “Spend time identifying rent and purchase prices. Expatistan provides cost of living comparisons between cities across the globe. The BBC has a useful tool which helps you to see how far your salary will go in different parts of the UK.”

Make fun your priority

Life coach and author of Burnt Out, Selina Barker, says that our priority over the coming months should be fun, not work. “The pandemic has left us depleted – more than 80 per cent of British workers say they experienced burnout in the past year,” she says. “This summer we had fun again and it’s important that we keep that up. It might seem frivolous but it is not. It is essential for our resilience as we weather the storm of the rising cost of living, climate crisis and the rest. We mustn’t slip back into survival mode and just doggedly get through the day. Visit loved ones, take trips to places you’ve never been before, watch comedies, do whatever lifts your spirits.”

Flirt with waiters

Speaking of fun, something that many of us do on holiday but are more shy about at home is flirting. Flirting is a form of play, says flirting expert and relationship therapist Cate Mackenzie. It lifts our mood, and the mood of others too. So let’s get batting our eyelids. Mackenzie recommends complimenting people around you, using people’s names and wearing bright colours or hats to get people’s attention.

Revamp your wardrobe

As we pack away our summer clothes, now is a time to do a wardrobe inventory, says fashion psychologist and author of Big Dress Energy, Shakaila Forbes-Bell. She says: “Clothes have the power to improve our moods, increase our self-esteem, body image and more, but that doesn’t mean you need to buy more clothes.” Instead, we need to shop our own wardrobe by trying on everything we have and noticing how different items make us feel. Let go of anything that no longer fits or which you wore in a different life. She adds that there are no particular colours that make us happy – it might be green for me and yellow for you.

Accept the extra pounds

But what if two years of couch-potato living and a summer of barbecues and bubbles mean you no longer fit into your wardrobe? Do not go into a fit of self-loathing or embark on a crash diet, says behavioural change expert and author of The Last Diet, Shahroo Izadi. She says: “Instead of beating yourself up about food or alcohol choices for example, compassionately acknowledge that you had a period of doing things that you’d rather do less of now.”

Take a break from booze

After a summer of fun, many of us would benefit from a period of sobriety. Laura Willoughby MBE, co-founder of mindful drinking movement Club Soda, says: “Just a month off drinking can reduce your stress levels, increase your wellbeing and give you the confidence to solve problems with a clear head. And it’s a moneysaver, too. Club Soda members who take a month off drinking report feeling happier, regaining more than a week of their time that would have been lost to hangovers, and saving upwards of £300.”

Talk about money

If money is on your mind, try talking to someone about your worries. Most of us would rather discuss our sex life than our bank balances. Research from the Government’s Money and Pensions Service has shown that nine in 10 UK adults don’t find it easy to talk about money or don’t even discuss it at all. “But it’s been proven that talking about money actually makes people feel less stressed and more in control,” says Rhiannon Davies, a head coach at Octopus MoneyCoach.

Switcheroo

Take whatever action you can. “While it’s not a great time to switch energy providers, you can still review all your other contracts (broadband, mobile, insurance and more) and see if there are better deals available,” says Davies. “When it comes to broadband, many people are overpaying for speeds they don’t really need. Also, many banks are offering great switching deals right now. For example, you can earn a bonus of up to £175 just for switching your current account.”

Unsubscribe

“It’s easy for an account full of £9.99 subscriptions to add up. Many autorenewing subscriptions go forgotten or unused. Do you need to be paying for this every month? Can you share with a friend or family member?” asks Davies. You could also unsubscribe from emails or unfollow accounts trying to sell you things. Out of sight out of mind.

Clear out your junk

A cluttered environment affects our ability to think clearly, makes it harder to fall asleep and even makes it more likely that we reach for junk food, according to studies. Scientific research suggests the effects of tidying can leave us feeling invigorated and satisfied, hitting reward centres in our brain. There is evidence that tidy environments help us think more clearly. For example, researchers at the University of Navarra found volunteers made more mistakes inputting data in a messy environment than in a neat one. So set the goal of clearing out one room at a time, or if that seems too much, try one drawer at a time. Completing small goals gives us a dopamine hit that makes us more likely to tackle bigger ones.

Eat healthily

“Fill your body with fresh, old fashioned nutrients. This does not require lots of money. Batch-cooking will save you a fortune. Don’t use Tupperware, use tin foil or cling film to wrap portions in the freezer for more space,” says personal trainer Bergin. “Your gut is your second brain and healthy microbiome can keep depression at bay,” says psychologist Brennan.

Embrace the power of leftovers

“Leftovers can seem a little joyless when seen as the remnants of an otherwise enjoyable meal. But changing their nature, be that with spices, texture and flavours, is a sensible way to make more joy. For example a couple of tablespoons of leftover pasta combined with the same amount of tomatoes, tinned or fresh, topped with some cheddar and baked makes a lot out of very little. Even half a bowl of soup can be brought back to life by warming some cumin seeds in a pan, then adding the soup, some butter or cannellini beans from a tin, rinsed, and drained, and then heat the whole lot and top with sesame seeds before enjoying,” says the nutrition therapist Ian Marber.

Make anxiety your friend

And if the return to reality is causing you to wake up with a pounding heart at 3am, try not to ignore it. Anxiety might feel horrible but it can be there to help us by telling us where we need to take action, according to Dr Tracy Dennis Tiwary. Instead of suppressing your anxiety, face it full on. What are you worried about? Is there anything you can do to address this worry? Now take action. “When you’re on the right track, anxiety will naturally diminish,” says Dr Tiwary.

Stay off social media

Some of us may have spent time away from our screens over the summer, and now is a good time to find a way to stay off them as much as we can. Tricks include keeping your phone and laptop off in the evenings and monitoring how much time you spend on social media. Social media expert Katie Brockhurst says: “Become aware of how social media is making you feel. What are the emotions? Sad, frustrated, jealous? Consider muting people whom you find are triggering certain feelings for 30 days – it’s great as people don’t know you have muted them.”

Hug it out

“Hunkering down for the winter and being home more makes it a good time to focus on building a more physical connection with your partner. If you’ve gotten into the habit of quick, perfunctory hugs, a simple thing to try is extending a hug for a minute or two longer than usual when you leave for work or come home. Notice how long it takes before you begin to feel really relaxed in the hug,” says Nicola Foster, a sex and relationship therapist. Hugs have been proven to boost oxytocin, which induces feelings of calmness and connection.

Have something to look forward to

“Budget constraints might mean not having a holiday to look forward to next year, but it’s important to still have dreams and plans. I often suggest that couples each separately write a list of five things they want to do together, and then come back together and share their list. Then, based on any you both have in common, write out a shared vision of activities to look forward to. Maybe you’d like to visit a local nature reserve you’ve never got around to visiting, or learn a new skill you can share, such as how to give a good massage,” says Foster.

Book your next holiday

A 2021 study by Washington State University concluded that people who travel around four times a year are seven per cent happier than people who don’t. Moreover researchers found that even the act of anticipating travel makes people happy – so even if you can’t travel till next summer, start planning now…