People-watching

Sorry is no longer the hardest word – forgiveness is all the rage these days

Here are a few new entries on the up-to-date forgiveness charts

Goodness, there’s a lot of it about. We’re talking about the need to be forgiven, not just by those who you have sinned against but by everyone who has ever heard of you. Whether asking for it, like Matt Hancock in the jungle, or dishing it out like Emma Thompson – who said in a recent interview that she forgave her ex-husband Kenneth Branagh’s infidelity – forgiveness is all the rage and fast becoming an essential part of the well-rounded celebrity portfolio.

Take Hancock and the many reasons he gave for agreeing to appear in I’m a Celebrity. There was, he said, the desire to show the public that politicians are ordinary people; there was the desire to educate people about dyslexia (one mention) and then there was the reason that turned out to be the key to the door of his fellow contestant’s locked hearts – his longing for forgiveness. “Why didn’t you say so!” was more or less the reaction of his camp mates, because that’s the way it is with the forgiveness word in 2022. It’s like net zero or non-binary, people feel better for using it.

Partly this is because “sorry” is a word that has been so abused in recent years it barely carries any meaning, unless you’re talking about the lowlevel sorrys: “Sorry I forgot to put the rubbish out,” or “Sorry I’m still on the motorway.” Many of the sorrys we’re used to hearing have a hint of “they made me say it” about them, whereas asking for forgiveness requires more connection. It suggests vulnerability and humility. It’s more personal and these are more personal times. And now we are in new territory where the man who asks for forgiveness first may have the last laugh (see Hancock), but the man who can’t ask at all (Prince Andrew) is doomed to live out his days in a bubble of blinkered isolation.

Fergie

The fact that she’s back on the list for Christmas at Sandringham (win some, lose some) signals that Fergie has been forgiven for being a loose cannon, but also that the Royal family recognise that on the “actions requiring forgiveness scale” Fergie is around a one, whereas Andrew is a 10. (Note: the word is Andrew was advised to do a Profumo and get stuck into some “good work” in order to earn the public’s forgiveness but little interest appears to have been shown.)

Seann Walsh

Yet another I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out of Here contestant looking for the public’s forgiveness and, so far as we can tell, receiving it in spades. The funny thing is Walsh first incurred our displeasure on that other annual reality show Strictly Come Dancing, where he was outed for being a love rat and then outed again by his girlfriend for gaslighting. Shamed in public and then, four years later, forgiven after a series of ritual humiliations on live TV – that’s the forgiveness journey, 21st-century style.

Emma Thompson

There’s been a lot of water under the bridge since ET’s marriage to Kenneth Branagh imploded after he had an affair with Helena Bonham Carter, but it still comes up and in a recent interview she admitted that, though she was heartbroken, “Helena and I made our peace years and years ago.” Now we know that scene in Love Actually, when she discovers Alan Rickman’s infidelity and carries on tidying up in-between jagging sobs, was horribly close to home. This kind of forgiveness is aweinspiring and we salute it.

Will Smith

Currently pulling out all the stops since he has a new film out, yet remains very much persona non grata after slapping Chris Rock at the Academy Awards in March. We have to say that while Smith is doing a lot of explaining (“bottled rage”), we’re so far unaware of any mention of the F-word when anyone can see that only asking Rock for forgiveness (apologising is not the same at all) will do.

Adele

Having pulled out of her Vegas residency back in January, 24 hours before opening night, Adele was high up the list of celebrities in need of forgiveness from us, and boy she knew it. Now that the shows are back on and blisteringly good, Adele, after much public hair-shirting, has done her time and come out smelling rosier than ever.

The forgiveness word is like net zero or nonbinary, people feel better for using it

Liz Truss

“I’m sorry for those mistakes... I’ve fixed those mistakes and appointed a new chancellor” is a good example of why we’ve had to move on from sorry. Could Liz say “I’m looking for your forgiveness”? Certainly not. A bit like Andrew.

David Baddiel

Recently apologised to footballer Jason Lee for racist bullying on the comedian’s Fantasy Football League TV show in the mid 1990s. It took him 25 years to get around to it in person, as Lee pointed out, and it seems the apology was appreciated but as for fully accepted... perhaps not quite on this occasion. Sometimes it’s simply a timing thing.