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Allison Pearson Lady Susan Hussey does not deserve all this vitriol

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Required to deal with an almost unimaginable amount of social change, the oldest generation has done pretty well, I think. Words that were once harmless are suddenly a linguistic IED, likely to blow up the unwary or the merely old-fashioned. For years, my incredibly polite mother used to say “coloured people” believing that calling someone “black” was rude. Her grandchildren were horrified. Like all young people these days, they believe they invented virtue.

At least my mother’s “unacceptable and racist language” was not the lead item on the BBC News. That hellish mortification befell 83-year-old Lady Susan Hussey. For 60 years, Lady Hussey never put a black patent court shoe wrong as lady-in-waiting to Queen Elizabeth (and godmother to Prince William). This week, she blundered into a very modern minefield, where one individual who is minded to take offence can cancel a lifetime of discreet and loving service.

Ngozi Fulani, the leader of Sistah Space, a charity for victims of domestic abuse, accepted an invitation from the Queen Consort to a reception at Buckingham Palace to raise awareness of violence against women and girls. According to Ms Fulani, she was approached by Lady Hussey who asked her where she was from. When Ms Fulani explained her organisation was based in Hackney, Lady Hussey persisted, “No, what part of Africa are you from?” When Ms Fulani said there were no records, the courtier pressed on, “But what nationality are you?” Ms Fulani says she replied, “I am born here and am British.”

That should have been the end of it. A younger Lady Hussey might have picked up a growing prickliness in the response, but she was like a corgi with a ham bone: “No, but where do you really come from, where do your people come from?” In that use of “people” one can hear the posh (“pipple”), almost extinct voice of the aristocracy. Reading the transcript of the conversation, you can hear two worlds colliding: lady-in-waiting meets lady-in-wokeing.

After decades by the monarch’s side, Lady Hussey is trained to break the ice and draw people out, which is what she was doing with Ms Fulani. Her opening inquiry was fine, but the refusal to accept the guest’s insistence that she was British comes across as overbearing and, quite frankly, rude. Was she being racist? No, I don’t believe she was, because there was no malice in her behaviour. She was simply being rather grand and octogenarian; conditions Lady Hussey can do very little about.

Ms Fulani went public with her distress on Wednesday morning and the story was swiftly retweeted around the world. If the late Queen were still alive, I have no doubt she would have defended her old friend. But the Duke and Duchess of Sussex’s highly emotive media manipulation has changed the rules of engagement. Within hours, the Palace described the remarks as “unacceptable and deeply regrettable” with Lady Hussey apologising and resigning from her honorary position.

Some have accused the Palace of acting with “indecent haste”. No, the ruthless speed of the banishment is a testament to Palace nerves. They are worried about the reception of the Prince and Princess of Wales on their trip to the States and even more on edge about Harry and Meghan’s Netflix docu-series. Advance stills show the Duchess in tears, doubtless weeping over further reimaginings of “my Truth”. The Royal family cannot afford to have a claim of racism hanging over a member of the court. Lady Hussey is collateral damage in the Battle Royal.

It is, of course, perfectly possible to take a slightly different view of the clash of the charity boss and the Woman of the Bedchamber. If you turn up to an event in African dress, then don’t be too surprised if questions are asked about your heritage. The leader of Sistah Space also appears to have previously tweeted in support of Meghan and Harry. One royal insider fumes that it’s a “stitch-up” that could scupper William and Catherine’s visit to the US. I’m not sure about that conspiracy theory, but there is more than a whiff of conveniently confected outrage here. As any fair person looking at photographs of the reception Ms Fulani attended can see, the Royal family is going out of its way to be as inclusive as possible.

In all of the furore, the UN’S “16 days against gender violence” is forgotten. And one much-admired elderly lady, who served her Queen with great distinction, has her reputation trashed because, just once, in all the decades since 1960, when she took on her role, she got things badly wrong.

Lady Hussey will be desperately upset that she has caused embarrassment to the King, his Queen and her beloved godson. Personally, I hope she gets tons of emails of support. Our late Queen is with you in spirit, Lady Hussey, sitting next to you in the back of the car, under the rug you always shared, a gloved hand laid on your gloved hand. So are we.

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2022-12-02T08:00:00.0000000Z

2022-12-02T08:00:00.0000000Z

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