TONI’S TIPS FOR DRINKING LESS

1

Do a few abstinence stints. I had to have a few extended totally sober periods (three months plus) to get to a place where I’d done – and therefore knew I could do – everything sober, including my birthday, New Year’s Eve, holidays, clubbing, fancy-dress parties, sex, family Christmas and public speaking

2

Learn what booze actually does to you. Alcohol is a drug, and understanding that and how it changes our brain chemistry from the very first sip will help you make an empowered choice on a night out, versus drinking because that’s what you always do. I now ask myself: am I drinking to get in to it or out of it? (Thanks to Shahroo Izadi, addiction specialist and author of The Kindness Method for that gem)

3

Put good stuff in to your life when you decide to take out extreme levels of boozing. Plan wholesome or fun activities in place of (or the morning after) your habitual boozy times: a fun online dance class on a Friday to celebrate the end of the working week; a five-star dinner where you’ll need to eat sober to justify the price of the food; a parkrun or yoga class on a Saturday morning. And it sounds obvious, but start doing more things with non-drinkers (“If you don’t want to slip, don’t go where it’s slippery…”)

4

Enjoy getting to know yourself without the booze. Maybe you’re an introvert? Maybe you are a morning person. Maybe you can save money. Maybe you don’t really like your job/ partner/weekend friends? Explore your drinking habits from a place of gentle self-inquiry and selfcompassion. Once your confidence is boosted, enjoy challenging any detractors and when they ask: “Why aren’t you drinking?” (and they will) ask them: “Why are you drinking?”, which is actually a much harder question to answer

5

On a practical note: always have some stylish alcohol-free drinks at home so you have options; take your own drinks to parties; and if you choose to drink alcohol go for quality over quantity (one glass of champagne as opposed to a bottle of cheap white). Try the reverse three-drink rule – after three soft drinks if you really want a “drink-drink” go for it, guilt-free. You’ll generally find the craving has passed, the drunk people are becoming annoying and you don’t actually want to

Toni Jones is the founder of self-development community the Shelf Help Club, which is running a Sober October challenge next month. Join the challenge/find out more at shelfhelp.club